Kiss
Puke
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
