its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
