I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
