I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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