Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
