In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
