ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You can't special order awesome
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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