Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
