I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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