people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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