Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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