I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
you never un-have a 4some
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You did what with his pubic hair?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
