You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
