dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
