just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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