Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
