after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
