I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
