So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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