I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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