i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
