so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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