no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
