I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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