Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Randomize
