O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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