I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
