Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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