talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
