Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
