drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
