Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Someone came in the potted fern
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
