with your own penis?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
