so explain again why im purple
no
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
