You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She announced her abortion via fbk
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
