I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
