I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
