Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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