I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
