walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
