remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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