hotel room ftw
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
