i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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