Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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