somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
