I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
