i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
