it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize