I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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