So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
