im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just tell him i said nine months
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
